Blind Spots

gratitudeBlind spots are the bit’s of our character where we lack understanding, or impartiality, without knowing it.

And yet, they drive some of the actions we take, the words we speak, the feelings we feel.

Blind spots are not our intuition driving us to do things. In general, blind spot actions are the ones that puzzle us.

The ones that keep us awake at night as we try to make sense of what we said or did. The ones that caused the other person to react so badly.

Does that mean that blind spots are a bad thing?

No, not necessarily. Here are my thoughts on them.

I believe that our interactions with others can be the catalyst to show us one of our own hidden blind spots.

Nobody knows what’s hidden in their subconscious mind that may be driving their actions.

And yet, those same actions, taken unknowingly by others, can cause us to pause, to recognise a pattern in our own behaviour.

It may take one time, it may take a hundred times, but if we keep seeing the same actions, ones that we identify with on some level, sooner or later we’re going to see that it might be one of our own behaviour patterns.

9 times out of 10 we won’t like that light bulb moment.

But that ‘ha ha’ moment can allow us to decide whether we want to be the person who acts in that way.

Of course, it may be a case of ‘so what, I like that part of me.’ Read more »

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Is My Soul Calling Me, or Not?

dophinsIs my soul calling me, or not? Just when I think I have a handle on where I’m heading, life happens and I’m back to wondering what it’s all about.

Is it just me?

Over the years on my quest to ‘ find the real me’, many wonderful people have advised me to follow my souls’ yearnings, to put myself first in achieving my dreams.

And yet, I know from the trial and error of living, putting myself first can mean stopping, dropping or eliminating parts of my life that I don’t want to. I just don’t OK.

So I wonder is my soul is calling me, or not? Surely soul following requires some sacrifice on my part.

Maybe, my soul yearnings are just sweet nothings whispering to my heart.

Sweet nothings that tease but don’t tug. Sweet nothings that require no actions to be taken.

Some will say that it’s not my heart, or soul, calling me. That when it happens for real I will know. I’ll just know and everything will fall into place.

I’m not holding my breath until that happens. Life is too sweet, too good to wait for a calling.

Instead, I’m choosing to live my life with a fullness, a richness, that resonates with my inner well-being.

I don’t have the time to wish, or wash, away what I already love about my life.

More to the point, I don’t have the inclination.

So where does that leave me?

Joyfully following my heart. Trusting my inner wisdom will guide me. If it feels right then it’s time to choose whether, or not, I go with it. If it doesn’t sit comfortably then it’s a no. Simple as.

Read more »

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I’m Responsible

life loves youOver time, the phrase ‘I’m responsible for my actions’ has guided me as I move through the world. Getting to grips with what I’ve understood it to mean, I’ve tried to take action in a responsible way.

But, I think I misunderstood what I now believe to be true. Of course, what’s true for me may not be true for you. I thought I’d share my thoughts on what’s true for me.

I believe ‘I’m responsible for my actions’ is a guide to living the best life possible. It’s not complex. In fact, it’s dead simple. You, me and everyone else out there is responsible for their own actions.

When you know everything you experience is always about you, and not about who else appears to be involved, life opens up in magical ways because you’ll be taking action from a different place.

A place within you that is the source of everything that you are.

Everything we experience, everything/everyone that brings out the judgemental elements of our character, who gets our back up, or makes us angry is all about our feelings, our thoughts and our reactions.

It has nothing to do with the other person/people on the scene. Doesn’t matter how much of the brown stuff they’re throwing our way.

I can see how it may appear to seem that way. Sorry, but they’re living out their own experiences, and by coincidence, you’re a player in their dramas, showing them what’s going on inside of them.

Every day new dramas show up to be played out in any way we see fit. They show up to help us grow our inner well-being. To enable us to touch base with our innate inner wisdom.

The outer shell of us is where all the action takes place.

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Being True To You

being true to youbeing true to you is simple,

close you eyes to see the truth of who you truly be,

take deep breath’s to inhale your vibrant inner beauty,

open your eyes to the wonder of love’s magic,

choose to live from your heart,

be true to you

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Judgement Hides in Many Guises

judgement hides in many guisesReading a poem by Brian Bilston about how he felt when offered a free copy of the Daily Mail, made me realise how judgement hides in many guises.

The comments following the humorous poem mostly appeared to stand in the strongly dislike the Daily Mail camp. Opinions on a newspaper that were shared by many of the commenters.

Luckily we live where everyone has the right to express their opinions.

I wondered what it was about the Daily Mail’s way of expressing their news, that caused such strong reactions.

Truthfully, all newspapers appear similar to me, so I guess people read what resonates the strongest with their own views. Like attracts like doesn’t it. You pay your money and you make your choice.

It doesn’t mean you or I have to like the choices made.

It does mean we have to let it go without being judgemental.

The truth is that our opinions can make other people’s blood boil.

Sometimes, discussions can lead to changes of opinions.

Or, they can lead to the ‘I’m right, you’re wrong’ argument’s that make you angry.

Sometimes I find it hard to differentiate between opinions and being judgemental. I find I can be judgemental when, touching a raw spot something slips under my radar, hiding in one of judgements many guises.

Read more »

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Learning Patience

church plaqueLearning patience isn’t a strong point of mine. I find it so difficult when, I don’t get a response after contacting others with questions that seem important to me.

For example, I recently sent 3 texts to: 1) make travel arrangements; 2) help a friend with a funeral she’s arranging; and 3) to check my sister wasn’t caught up in the recent French floods.

Worry, worry, worry, tick, tick, tick. Little time bombs exploding in my head.

Waiting for information seriously damages my peace of mind.

I know what I’m feeling is created by me, and although it appears to be a symptom of what’s happening outside of me, it’s just an illusion.

Here’s what happens. Because the information I’m waiting for is important to me, I’m under the illusion it’s a priority for the other person.

I have no idea what their priorities are. And yet, the things I don’t know, but want to know, become the stories I tell myself to fill the missing gaps.

It doesn’t mean that the stories I create are true. Read more »

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Love is the Centre of Being

dandelion headIt’s the truth. Love is the centre of being. Not everyone believes that to be true for them.

Nevertheless, it’s true for each and every one of us.

I never knew it was true for me for a long time.

I thought love came with a price tag. Was something to be earned. Awarded to me by others.

That it had to be bought in some way. As in you do something for me and I will love you in return.

If I wasn’t given the love I thought I’d earned I spiralled downwards into one very unhappy person.

Of course, it was never my fault. It was always the fault of the other person who had reneged on their promise(s).

I guess I was what you’d call emotionally ‘high maintenance’.

I played the blame game every day, not knowing that the currency of love doesn’t have a price tag in any way or form.

I never knew that love was the centre of our being and that no matter what I did, or said, love would never leave me.

I never knew that the first person I had to learn to love was myself. That I didn’t have to prove myself to anyone. That just being me was enough.

Read more »

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The Joy of Being in the Flow

go with the flow_1024I’m often asked how to experience the joy of being in the flow. To be fully present in each moment, rather than chasing the past or second guessing the future.

The truth is I find it difficult to know how to respond.

I know how I get into my own flow. I have a feeling that because we’re all unique it’s going to be different for each of us.

Some people find it by going into a meditative state. And while that provides a blessed state of peace for most, I’ve never mastered the art of meditation.

For me, a walking meditation is joyful. I walk by myself, letting my mind go where it wants to. As the thoughts shift, swirl and move on, my mind gradually goes into empty mode.

Whilst this is awesome to experience, it doesn’t really answer the question because mediation is being in the flow whilst meditating.

I’m trying to answer the question of being in the flow whilst awake, eyes wide open, living in the moment. To be aware of everything that’s occurring as it occurs and responding, or not, from a place of inner well-being.

I’m a normal person, which means I do a fair bit of chasing my past, as well as second-guessing my future. I drift into daydreams of what I’d do if I won the lottery, or re-live events that either worked or, didn’t!

The trouble is, both the past and the future, take me away from living moment by glorious moment. I can’t explain it very well, but there’s something about taking each moment as it happens that brings it alive in a totally different way.

Once experienced to the full it becomes addictive in a good way. You just know that this is how life is meant to be lived. Read more »

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I Want To Be Magic

pink spiralI want to be magic.

I want to touch the heart of the world and make it smile.

I want to be a friend of elves and live in a tree.

Or under a hill.

I want to marry a moonbeam and hear the stars sing.

I don’t want to pretend at magic anymore.

I want to be magic.

Thank you Charles de Lint.

This is too beautiful not to share.

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If Your Mind Is Scattered, It Is Quite Powerless

scattered mindThe Dalai Lama said ‘If your mind is scattered, it is quite powerless.’ It’s true isn’t it.

Today’s world can be a whirlwind of scattered actions. Family, work, friends, you name it, something or someone, always seems to be wanting a little piece of you.

How can you think things through, when you’re being pulled this way and that?

Funny thing the mind. Faced with the bombardments that hit it over the course of a day, it does what it knows best to cope. It goes on to autopilot.

What’s wrong with that?


Autopilot means you’re feeling powerless as your scattered mind shuts down. Consciously unconscious if you like.

It’s not a good place to make decisions from is it?

Read more »

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