The Joy of Surrendering to Love

The Joy of Surrendering to LoveThe joy of surrendering to love is one of life’s blessings. Unfortunately, the twin nemesis of expectations and neediness often create  barriers to love, whilst allowing fear to slip through and hold sway.

How do I know? I know because, I allowed myself to be a victim of expectations and neediness for a large chunk of my life. I believe it started at a young age when, I confused getting my genuine needs met, with demanding as much attention as I could get.

The more my demands were met, the more my expectations grew into the belief that, if I cried long enough I would eventually get the attention I desired. The problem was I never grew out of it. Consequently, without realising, I had placed my happiness and well-being into the hands of others.

Don’t blame my parents. With five of us to attend to they did a brilliant job. Feelings, emotions and all points in-between never came into the equation. It wasn’t the ‘done thing’ to discuss topics such as these. Goodness me, NO.

The problems, growing from my expectations and all-consuming neediness, was never addressed. Hey ho, that’s just how things were.

Honestly I grew up in a golden age. I’ve always known how lucky I am. It didn’t matter how much I believed my expectations were left unmet, or my neediness side-lined, I knew that, nevertheless, I was a lucky person.

As long as I behaved at school, ate what was put in front of me and returned home at the proper times, I could pretty much run free. I had friends and family to share good times with, I was blessed.

If the world was my oyster, why did I pushed it away? The dust in my eyes prevented me from appreciating how blessed I was. With my expectations spiraling out of control, I grew my attitude of wanting more instead.

This attitude spilled over into all areas of my life. And, let’s face it, what you focus on grows.

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Making Do and Mend Syndrome

Making Do and Mend SyndromeMaking do and mend syndrome sufferers, well they make do and mend. But what does that mean? It means that make do and menders never, ever think they’re good enough for something better. Using cost as an excuse, there’ll always be a reason for making do with what they already have.

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, if everything still performs as it should. But you’d be amazed how many people put up with second best. Even when it costs time and money.

Precious time that can never be replaced, let alone what it does to your inner well-being as it saps the life out of you.

Like all syndromes, make do and mend is such a familiar way of being, that most of the time, sufferers don’t even know they’ve got it. The daily grind goes on and on, relentlessly diverting your peace of mind, happiness and inner well-being. It’s literally soul destroying.

Drip. Drip. Drip. The torment goes on until you recognise that there could be a problem.

For example, I’ve been working on my laptop for a number of years now. It’s familiar, I know where everything is. I know how to boot it, to fiddle with it until it does what I want it to and I keep forgetting to investigate upgrading it. At least, that’s what I’d been telling myself.

But my laptop is my work horse. It’s my communications life line. Do I want to work with a donkey or a thoroughbred?

It doesn’t matter how many times I dangle a carrot at it, it just doesn’t want to play ball any longer.

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The Challenge of Being Happy

Be HappyThich Nhat Hanh wrote: ‘The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart’. A challenging statement if you believe being happy depends on what’s going on in your life.

It’s only true if you let what’s going on determine whether you’re happy. Believe it, or not, you always get to choose whether you live a fear full life, or a love full live.

It’s a lot easier to be happy when you choose love.

It took me a long time to learn that freedom, or happiness, isn’t something you search for outside of yourself. I learned that it already exists deep within everyone.

Once you know that for the truth, your focus turns to finding ways to free yourself.

We all face challenges. Those challenges are different for each of us. The real challenge is whether you let them determine your actions through fear or love. Each, and every, challenge is an opportunity to free up a little more space in your heart.

When actions are taken from a place of fear inspired thoughts, it’s impossible to be happy. Thoughts such as; ‘YOU’LL NEVER BE FREE OF THIS’, YOU’LL NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN’, play havoc with your mind, keeping you in a fearful place.

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Inspirational Insight for Inner Well-Being – Creating Yourself

creating yourself‘Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself’ –  George Bernard Shaw

Are you on a seemingly, never ending journey, visiting many destinations in a quest to find the real you?

The YOU, you might be, could be, or should be, if only you found yourself.

Good news alert.

You no longer have to spend time looking to find yourself.

Instead, make a list of all the things you’ve uncovered so far. Highlight all the things you love doing, being, having.

Be creative, the bits you love best are the real you showing up at every opportunity, allowing ‘you’ to shine your inner light into the world.

Doesn’t it feel good inside to be the real you?

Like finding a shoe that fits, feels, and looks fantastic.

Have fun creating you, the person you are meant to be, waiting inside of you all along – WOW.

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People Let You Down

People let you downPeople let you down. They do don’t they. All the time. It’s a fact of life.

The road to your hell is paved with the good intentions of well meaning others.

The ones who never got around to keeping their promises. 9 times out of 10 they didn’t even let you know they wouldn’t be helping you after all.

The thing is, I’m almost certain most of them wanted to keep those promises. They meant well at the time.

But, for one reason or another, they let you down.

You wait, and you wait, and then you wait a bit longer. Finally the penny drops.

It’s not going to happen. Never.

Often those well meaning others live their life being a good friend, or neighbour, and if you were to mention you’d been let down, they wouldn’t understand. After all anyone can see just how much they do for others!

They might be hurt. They might feel guilty. They might even get mad at you for reminding them!

Life’s a bitch, but you have to find a way to get over the the no shower-uppers.

Because if you don’t. It will eat you up. From the inside-out.

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Do You Know What You Want?

Do you know what you do want?Here’s a question for you to consider; ‘Do you know what you want?’ Very few people do know what they want, and yet it’s key to living your best life possible.

It’s key, because when you take the time to investigate, and uncover what you really, really want, your focus and outlook on life changes for the better. You’ll find yourself looking for ways to take steps towards it, because you have a clear vision of what you want in your mind’s eye.

It’s simple when you do know, but truthfully, most people don’t know what they want. Some people find reasons not to look for it - it would be too hard, cost too much, take too long, etc., etc., – sound familiar!

Excuses come from fear of the unknown. The familiar is much easier to live with, even if it’s everything that you’d rather not have! Excuses lead to being bogged down in a ‘wishy washy life’. Excuses stop you from moving forward with your life. Excuses. Excuses. Excuses.

Is that what you want? Definitely not living your best life possible is it! Read more »

Quero Apache Prayer

celandinesLooking behind I am filled with Gratitude,

Looking forward I am filled with Vision,

Looking upwards I am filled with Strength,

Looking within, I discover Peace.

Why not sign up for Inspirational Insights to assist you to grow your happiness and inner well-being? Just enter your name and email address in the box to you right to receive you own weekly Insights – enjoy x

The Penny Dropped

Pennies from HeavenThe penny dropped. I had a ‘ha ha’ moment of clarity. Inspirational Insights are my gift of love to you. They’re little seeds of love and happiness sent out on a weekly basis.

Writing them makes my heart sing.

To check that each little seed is ready to be sown I’m on my own mailing list. I checked the words, but didn’t see the banner was missing. Literally!

So intent on the words, I hadn’t noticed that each Inspirational Insight was incomplete. Doh.

I’ve been working my way through each one, to enable me to bring them up to speed with who I am now.

Everyone learns and grows. I’m no different.

Finally, the penny dropped at around No.15! No banner.

Randomly checking I discovered the banner was missing from every Inspirational Insight.

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Inspirational Insights for Inner Well-Being – More to Life

Inspirational Insight‘There is more to life than increasing its speed.’ – Gandhi

Roll up, roll up, the circus is in town!

Do you feel as if you’re the star performer, juggling all the balls. Adding first one, then another as the pace of your life kicks in?

So many things to juggle, so little time. It’s time to drop some of the balls.

Just for a moment take the time to look at everything that causes you to run towards meltdown. What can you stop, and eliminate, right now?

Is it absolutely necessary or it is a habit that you do automatically?

Do what you have to do. But, instead of increasing your pace, slow down.

Make time to wind down, to follow your heart, and to do the things that you love best.

Juggling balls is just spending time – the rest is following your bliss.

Want more Inspirational Insights to assist you to grow your happiness and inner well-being?

Just enter your name and email address in the box to you right to receive you own weekly Insights – enjoy x

Roman Holiday

Roman HolidayMy roman holiday’s over. I had a wonderful time exploring an amazing city. Looking back, it seemed my roman holiday was like a metaphor for life.

Time in Motion

When I plan something, I usually have a time-table with an end plan in mind. Life steps in and my time in motion goes to pot.

I’d booked my flights to Rome for the flight times, and the good price on offer. Fast forward 4 months, and an email informs me that both flights have been changed by 3 hours each way. Damn BA.

Then both flights had delays of an extra hour to endure. Double damn.

Time in motion always takes longer than planned. Those flights were reminding me that although I want to make faster progress with my eBooks, it will almost always take longer than I anticipate. Always.

The Law of Attraction

The Bed and Breakfast I stayed in was set in one of those old, very grand apartment blocks that only seem to exist in Italy. Entering the quaint old lift, 2 persons max, I felt like an extra in an Agatha Christie movie.

Up to the fourth floor, welcomed by Massimiliano with a ‘treat this as your home’ edict, I was enchanted with the whole apartment. My fabulous room had huge windows with different jaw dropping views. What’s not to love.

But, the ‘piece de resistance’ was the terrace garden. Views to take your breath away, it was everything I could have hoped for,

Sitting peacefully, drinking in the views, I realised that this was the apartment with the terrace garden that had been haunting my dreams. I’d forgotten I’d asked the Universe for this. No wonder everything was so familiar.

The law of attraction in action. Delivered when the opportunity arose. Complete in every detail that I’d wished for. Oops. I’d forgotten to include living there permanently! But each attained wish can be used as an opportunity to enjoy what’s given. You can always go back and re-order with glitches ironed out. Read more »