The joy of surrendering to love is one of life’s blessings. Unfortunately, the twin nemesis of expectations and neediness often create barriers to love, whilst allowing fear to slip through and hold sway.
How do I know? I know because, I allowed myself to be a victim of expectations and neediness for a large chunk of my life. I believe it started at a young age when, I confused getting my genuine needs met, with demanding as much attention as I could get.
The more my demands were met, the more my expectations grew into the belief that, if I cried long enough I would eventually get the attention I desired. The problem was I never grew out of it. Consequently, without realising, I had placed my happiness and well-being into the hands of others.
Don’t blame my parents. With five of us to attend to they did a brilliant job. Feelings, emotions and all points in-between never came into the equation. It wasn’t the ‘done thing’ to discuss topics such as these. Goodness me, NO.
The problems, growing from my expectations and all-consuming neediness, was never addressed. Hey ho, that’s just how things were.
Honestly I grew up in a golden age. I’ve always known how lucky I am. It didn’t matter how much I believed my expectations were left unmet, or my neediness side-lined, I knew that, nevertheless, I was a lucky person.
As long as I behaved at school, ate what was put in front of me and returned home at the proper times, I could pretty much run free. I had friends and family to share good times with, I was blessed.
If the world was my oyster, why did I pushed it away? The dust in my eyes prevented me from appreciating how blessed I was. With my expectations spiraling out of control, I grew my attitude of wanting more instead.
This attitude spilled over into all areas of my life. And, let’s face it, what you focus on grows.